I know that under any other circumstances I would be a horrible mom if I forgot my child's birthday. Who forgets the day that their only daughter was born? Who can't remember one day? One simple date in a year? Well, a mom who had a horrible pregnancy. A mom who was terrified the day that her daughter was born. A mom who wasn't sure if her only daughter was going to live through the night. It's not the happiest a days...almost, easy to forget. The date I do remember? October 12th. The day that she was supposed to be born. September 19th. The day I finally got to bring her home. Home. That is a day to celebrate.
So when the 4th of July rolls around, I first think about the kids being home from school. Then my mind wonders about the 4th in 2006 when I had to go back to the hospital. Then I remember it's Kaitrin's birthday on the 7th. And the 'bad mom' feeling comes over me...how do I think of my daughters day after all of those things...almost forgetting it.
1 comment:
You were not "forgetting" her birthday - you were blocking out a bunch of very painful, frightening memories. As times goes on and Kaitrin knows her birthday as July 7, you will be able to recognize it, while still being able to quietly and personally celebrate the days that are more meaningful to you.
Those of us who know the Becky and Kaitrin story will always understand and be supportive. Someday you will be able to share that story with your daughter and she will love you even more for all you went through to bring her into this world.
And you are, absolutely, one of the BEST Moms ever! This Mom is sure of that!!!
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